I wanted to go into the details of how we prepared for the wedding, but since I’ve yet to sort the 2000+ photos sent by our official photographer and I wanted to include photos in that particular blog entry, I’ll have to save that topic to a later post.
I thought of sharing a bit about the things I’ve learned for our first 3 months as husband and wife. In a way, this would be a ‘quarterly’ report to our parents and our godparents, and probably friends who married earlier than us can chime in and give bits and pieces of marriage advice. Karlo’s a very private person and sometimes he hates me for writing about our personal life, but I’m also torn with the need to document this formative stage of our marriage because we will only pass this phase once. So here are the 10 things I’ve discovered about married life:
- Never, ever go to a bed with a heavy heart. Karlo and I are both Leos and pride is in our nature. It would take forever to wait for one of us to say sorry but for some reason, we feel that we need to end the day in good terms.
- No use of phones during meals or when someone is behind the wheel. It’s easy to waste precious time just staring at our phone screens and also easy to forget that you’re with someone when you start browsing through your Facebook news feed. If I happen to chat with you and suddenly I go MIA, it’s either we’re in the car or we’re eating. The latter, by the way, happens most of the time during the day.
- Attending Mass every Sunday. It used to be that we needed to do it because it was our Catholic duty. But it came to a point when we actually looked forward listening to the priest’s homilies every Sunday and discuss about it over lunch or dinner after the Mass. The Holy Mass has become our bonding moment not only between us but also with God.
- It’s in the small things. My husband’s not the typical type of guy who gets you these expensive material gifts. He’s kuripot but masinop sa pera. Heck, I even have to buy my own watch or bracelet when I desperately want it. I sometimes envy girls who get flowers. But Karlo has never failed in showering me with millions of little lovely things or should I say, little acts of love during the 8 years that we’ve been together. And looking back, those little acts of love were actually building blocks of our relationship. Those material gifts wouldn’t have mattered after all.
- Agreeing to disagree on certain things. Karlo and I are still two different individuals in terms of personality and there are a lot of things where we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum. We listen to what each one has to say, where each one is coming from. If it’s just sharing of thoughts, we respect the other’s opinions. If a decision needs to be made, we compromise or we meet halfway.
- Respecting each other’s personal time and space. Yes, being together 24/7 can sometimes feel overwhelming, at least for me who’s used to treasuring me-times. But I’m sure Karlo does too. I know he doesn’t want to be disturbed when he starts to read his Manga or when he’s started playing his computer games. And he knows too that I don’t want to be disturbed when I start blogging or when I read a book.
- Big decisions need discussion. To be honest, Karlo and I would often find ourselves at a crossroad. You think that just because someone got married, they’ve got the rest of their lives planned out? Absolutely not. We often have our days wondering what’s in store for us in the next few weeks, months and years. But the beauty of marriage is that we go through life’s uncertainties with someone beside us. We take comfort in the fact that wherever we end up, it’s because both of us willed on things to happen.
- Embracing the ugly and the bad, the weak and the sad. I’ve had countless days when I find myself crying or bawling in our room because of overwhelming hurt, frustration and sadness. And only Karlo’s embrace can appease the pain. There are times when I just feel so ugly but my husband has his ways of making me feel that I’m the prettiest and loveliest in his eyes.
- Use of baby language. Believe it or not, Karlo’s ‘mayabang’ nature is just a facade. Deep down, he’s a baby in need of so much affection. I’ve been attempting to record his episodes of being a baby complete with his baby language but I realised it’s something I’d rather treasure between the two of us. We’ve also cooked up some words which may sound gibberish to others and only makes sense to us.
- Domestication is actually a good thing. I don’t have any hint of domestication in my bones. Going to the kitchen, for me, is like going up the stage for a presentation or recital that I always feel nervous. But Karlo has always been patient to teach me how to use a knife, how to slice vegetables, how to cook, and how he does his secret recipes. I’m still waaaayyyy far in claiming that I’m good at cooking but I can say that I’ve made significant progress. At least, I’m more comfortable now being in the kitchen (and doing the grocery too!). And we’ve saved more money with less takeaway meals and more home cooked meals now.
There you go with my 10 things. Next batch of 10 things after 3 months. Can’t wait to see what’s in store as Misis Belleza 🙂